When I joined the ranks of the 231st Transportation Company(Medium Boat), United States Army Reserve, upon my release from active duty, I met Sergeants G* and H*, who would later become known as Beavis and Butt-Head.

Why will be apparent when you are done reading this.

Sergeant G and H were the best of buddies. Where there was one, there was the other. Like Siamese twins. They were both assigned to the Maintenance and Salvage Platoon. And they were well known for their antics-antics that if they had been active duty soldiers would have gotten them court-martialed and booted out.

My first annual training, we were camped out at Fort DeSoto while helping with an artificial reef-building project. G and H disappeared for two days with 1SG Havlick's Hummer-for two days. As I recall, all they got was written up with a counseling statement.

And during this same AT, they allegedly poured gasoline on one guy's head and made like they were going to light up.

The most famous incident, though, happened during our 1995 AT. I missed that one due to being laid up with ant bites, but here is what happened. While the 231st was down at Lake Okeechobee, G and H decided to take a Hummer and go to the local watering hole. They were in deep doo-doo from the beginning for the following reasons:

1.) They were considered to be on duty during the AT-no alcohol allowed. Strike one.

2.) They took a military vehicle to go carousing. Strike two.

3.) They wore their BDUs-Battle Dress Uniforms-in the bar and while getting toasted-there is a regulation that expressly forbids wearing the Army uniform in inappropriate places-so as not to bring discredit on the Army or give the impression that the Army condones something.

Strike three.

So anyhoo, G and H are getting messed up, flirting with the ladies, and having a good old time. For some reason, some of the locals get ticked off. Words get said, fists start flying, and during the course of the fracas, the Hummer gets a smashed windshield and flattened tires.

Naturally, the fecal matter hits the fan when our company commander, CPT Perez, finds out. There was talk of courts martial, booting them with bad paper discharges...during the rest of the AT, they could not leave the Reserve center without being escorted by a non-commissioned officer.

Eventually, they were separated and assigned to different platoons. And when H got his twenty year letter, he was basically told, you're retired, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

G, last I heard, had started flying right.

*-Names changed to protect the guilty.